CNY is over!!! There'll definitely be a CNY post coming up, but give me a hot minute, because all I ever moan about is having no time, and I'll need to snatch some of that out of nowhere. (Speaking of that, my last installment of Italy Traveldiary still isn't up: the Florence bit is still waiting wistfully in the drafts, so someone please remind me to do that up too- within this century perhaps.)
Now that the long break is over, which I spent blissfully eating delicious homecooked Malaysian food and sick breakfast spreads (homemade kaya WHO) - and sleeping- and collecting hongbaos- I have to return to the real world where deadlines await. It really was like a jolt out of a dream when I realized there is now less than 2 weeks to term exams. Like WHAT???! What do you mean, terms? We just ended promos???
Honestly though, the past 3 months felt like some sort of extended vacay, emotionally. It's hitting me now that I am taking the bloody A Levels this year, and I seriously don't have the luxury of putting study time off anymore, or not pulling up my socks at any given moment. So I have been rushing around trying to put things into order, things I can't postpone any longer: such as photocopying my lit texts so I can finally take notes properly in class, finishing essays in the witching hour- always in the witching hour- and shopping a little for food to take the edge off these responsibilities and pressing engagements. It helps, it really does, to simply have a good almond milk in the fridge and granola bars at your disposal. It makes me feel a tad bit more prepared generally.
What with terms coming soon, Bailamos vetting just next Monday, dance auditions this Thursday, plus other decided deadlines I can't mention here, my plate is full. Sometimes I don't know whether I like it or not. The busy-ness, the pleasure of having things to do, adrenaline, living on 5 hours of sleep a day along with the pressure. I guess it's the advantage of being a teenager living on matcha powered caffeine and of course God.
Some of my goals during these two weeks, hereby named Hell Week 1 & 2 (though trust me there'll be way more to come), are 1. Be vegetarian or at least only occasionally eat meat in school, and
2. Be consistent with Quiet Time. I've not done a single reading of Genesis that Mel and Jeannette send in the DG group since last last Saturday, and while it's not in my resolutions, it's wrong not to think on the Word, especially as I'm trying to be more serious in my faith. You can't call yourself a Christian like that.
Oh, and 3. Be happy in school- because my friends deserve more than a tired sulky girl who doesn't pull her weight and makes life depressing for them.
Well, that's the down-low right now. I hope everyone is doing alright, and if you need a shoulder to lean on, I'm here.
It's 1.35am and I'm about to pull a near all-nighter because
1) I fell asleep from 9.30pm-12.30am effectively which seriously messed up my study schedule plan, which included a sleeping time of 4 hours. I already used up 3 hours out of 4 so I can only sleep for one more hour, probably 3-4, in order to keep within the planned studying hours. And all this for
2) my 2 Continual Assesments tomorrow, one ELL and one Chem. Otherwise known as Hell On Earth, because I can't even just sit and crap it out for ELL, it's P2SA, meaning I legitimately have to apply lots of content knowledge and name drop like nobody's business. As for Chemistry, everyone knows it's a struggle through and through, but I really wanted this test to be different. Not even aiming for a pass, but just something better than a U, and more importantly a test that I could really apply myself to, instead of giving up in despair like all the tests before this. And it's painful because I really wanted to try, and succeed.
I actually had to stop myself from crying multiple times today, mostly because Ms So asked me questions which I couldn't answer and cos it's Ms So, and I hate disappointing her.
I haven't written much at all these past few weeks, in here or in my diary. JC has swallowed up so much of my time and energy that when I do have time I have no energy, and all I want to do is sit around and use my phone or go to precious sleep.
Energy, on the other hand, is hard to come by.
God give strength to us all.
1. Big, floor to ceiling windows, plus points if it's in the bedroom.
2. Two side by side sinks in the master loo so my future love and I can brush our teeth together in the morning.
3. A balcony with ample space to have breakfast, plus a couple of potted or hanging plants.
4. An open-concept kitchen, perhaps with some French sliding doors.
5. Glass coffeetable with the latest issue of Frankie.
6. White bedsheets.
7. Framed photos of my family placed artfully in the corridors.
8. Some kind of music instrument even though I myself would never use it- a piano or guitar, or both.
L / 18 / SG / undetermined
see here to find out more.
Your story is what you have, what you will always have. It is something to own.
last updated: 5 september