Things have been looking really up lately, and I've been wanting to write this ever since Thursday.
Well, with much anticipation, we finally got back our Chinese O Level results! I can tell you, the morning of Thursday I was so nervous and sick to my stomach. I was too busy crying over my drama the night before, but the nerves as we sat in the LT...listening to the teachers talk about our scores...the belief that I definitely would become the world's biggest failure, it's like it was screaming in my ear. And I really believed it. I was already searching for my B or even C and was just waiting to be smacked in the gut. Especially when lao shi said we did average, with a hand motion.
Except I didn't. When I approached the results table, I searched frantically for my name, and suddenly all I could hear was lao shi saying (in Chinese), "You got an A!"
And I swear, my heart burst with joy.
It was amazing. It really was. All the terrible anxiousness melted away, and I couldn't help but cry, I was so overwhelmingly relieved. You know I hardly ever cry from happiness. This was the second time in my whole life.
Later on I realized it was never me, it couldn't be. God stood in and watched over me somehow, because it's fact that I screwed up my oral exam, and I'm not just saying this to be polite. I literally did, because there was one point when I couldn't answer the examiner's question for almost 15 ~ 20 whole seconds (count that out in your head and tell me that's not long in real time). It was this moment that weighed so heavily on my head I knew it was going to be the catalyst to a B. It would have, if God hadn't been intervening for me. I just know it. Studying is a given. But His grace isn't. My A2 would surely, surely never have been real if not for my Father in heaven.
The next few days were kind of a breeze past. It feels good. A mini hiatus to let everything go. Before Thursday I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to relax if I didn't get the score I wanted. But thankfully (words can't express the peace that comes with that word), I have been.
First I went on a little shopping spree by myself. I say 'little'. I only bought 3 things, which was a spanking new phonecase with an eye design, which I love, and have been looking for something like that for ages. Also, a cute white halter top. Plus 2 Muji pens. A Marche sandwich for lunch, which was actually pretty delicious. Library books too, but those don't count.
Then on Friday I went over to Sha's house and we just hung out. It feels good to see her because I rarely get to nowadays. We watched Amelie, which was an amazing movie. It's one of those that makes you think. It made my brain hurt, actually, during. (But it's good. Sha, if you're reading, we should go out the next time. I'm starting to think you've been doing nothing but watching the TV all day. Love you lots.)
Saturday, which is today, it was the launch of the Youth Publication!! Sadly, I'm only in a few photos, but it's beautiful, and I can't imagine the effort that was put into it. Denise, Megumi, and Mel were here for DG time, which was nice- missing XJ and Jeannette. I think if we were here full force, we'd be the best. I love them all a lot.
Lastly, I got a bronze for the Commonewealth Essay. I hated my story the moment I sent it in (mostly because of M's comments, though....thanks a lot Mummy) so it's good that it actually got something. Could've been better. I used to get silver in primary school. But all's well ends well.
L / 18 / SG / ACJC
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If you get everything you want the minute you want it, what's the point of living?
last updated: 5 september