I live in a crumbling, dark abode. Where I stay no light comes in except for the stars in the inky night. There is no sun, because it disappeared long ago. The grass is not green. Only the moon gives off a silvery glow, from Artemis, who conquered the sky and her brother Apollo, who ruled the sun.
I am struggling with so many things I don't even understand.
It is sinking into the blackness without even knowing why you can't just climb out. It's when the moon eclipses all the sunlight you ever knew and you forget all the good things that has happened to you. You struggle to remember, but it floats away from your grasp. And all you get is a blur of moments; too condensed, too short. Because the darkness isn't a just a hole, it's a mouth.
4 years ago I joined dance thinking I would learn to be beautiful.
But every single time I go in I'm reminded of how painfully inadequate I am and it just tears me up because I can hear what Mr.Dan is saying but I can't get this feeling off my chest and it's suffocating. It terrifies me. And it frightens me that my Sec 1 junior is better than I am and that I have never ever been called to perform in front of the rest and every s i n g l e person thinks I'm just a bumbling idiot freak....who can't dance....who has never danced until the age of 13..... I enter a mouth. It chews me up and spits me out. I am reduced to less than nothing because I should never have existed.
L / 18 / SG / ACJC
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If you get everything you want the minute you want it, what's the point of living?
last updated: 5 september